Bored at work (my REAL job)

The thing about my life is that I live it week to week.  Literally.  I work 7 on then have the next 7 off.  Which is an amazing schedule if you can handle the fact that for your ON days you have no life besides sleeping and coming to work, and you barely have time for the sleep.  My work week also consists of overnight hours for the bulk of my 13 hour work day.  And I'm in healthcare so sometimes that means at midnight I'm getting pounded (and not in the fun way) and other nights its all metaphorical crickets chirping.  Tonight is crickets.  I always wish that I could log in from work and bullshit around on my camgirl sites even just to see what's up, but for obvious reasons they are blocked.  I even logged into my messenger accounts from my phone and no one is on.  I KNOW it's Friday night and people have lives but currently I'm trapped in front of a screen with nothing to do and all entertainment sites are blocked.  So I'm blogging out of boredom, which apparently seems to be the only thing to actually get me to blog (because I suck at having a website).

On my on weeks I always dream of how productive I'll be when I'm off, how many hours I'll spend on cam booty shaking, what I'll paint or read, even all the laundry I'll do... This is never the case.  I am a chronic list maker.  My to-do lists are like whoa. Shopping lists, favorites lists, movies to watch, books to read, ideas for the site, shit I need to put on eBay... 7 days of making lists followed by 7 days of ignoring them.  When I'm at work and all hopped up on my second can of 20oz redbull I dream of all my side projects that will continue to fund my spontaneous vacays and then book them on orbitz with money I'll make in the future.  And then instead of MFC or putting those 30 pairs lucky jeans on eBay I'll sleep in and go tanning and spend $47 at Starbucks and doing whatever else I can think of to avoid doing anything that would result in me crossing anything off of my week worth of lists.  And you would think working nights at a hospital would set me up to be good at working nights on the Internet! Really I only have myself to blame... But I'll keep pretending that its because I don't want my roommate to over hear me describe in detail "how badly I want you to fuck me right now" when she knows I'm in my room by myself 😳

Re-evaluate

I keep going to my site and going to my twitter and going to MFC... And it's so overwhelming and stressful!  I feel like when I decided to launch this site I wanted to give myself a platform for my camming and now I look at it and want to change my mind.  When it becomes something to do for someone else or for a business it stops being fun and starts getting neglected.  So I'm changing that. I don't know how or with what quite yet but I want to do this for me and for fun!  But I've found recently that I like the feeling of real people and user generated content then I do the shenanigans of fighting other girls for a top spot on a pay per view site.  Not that I think I'd give that up completely, but in my life it's not my main gig and I don't rely on it so its hard to put up with the bullshit that comes with it.  I enjoy the thrill more then the cash! (But the cash IS nice lol).  Back to reality.   Part time camgirl, Full time awesome.